


on the way home. ( #hsmtmtsvday )

by itwasfearless



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: #hsmtmtsvday, F/M, Rina - Freeform, SORRY ITS LATEE, also, also rain kiss because you said you wanted that, and sorry the format its weird i will be fixing it, but now i just want to post it as quick as possible so you can see it, does this count as angst, hope you like it????, hsmtmts, i had so Many Problems Trying To Post This, i hope you enjoy it????, i tried to take ideas from your rina tweets, idk - Freeform, rina angst, set after the phonecalls but before s1, sets the place for much angst after it?, sorry its shitty, sorry this sucks again, this is all over the place, this is shitty, this sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:48:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29451036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itwasfearless/pseuds/itwasfearless
Summary: for my valentine's day exchange gift to mia!!! i hope you enjoy it??? sorry you have to read this mess??
Relationships: Ricky Bowen & Gina Porter, Ricky Bowen/Gina Porter
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	on the way home. ( #hsmtmtsvday )

Gina couldn't help but get the feeling that everyone at the party could tell the truth. 

It was just there in the air, and in the glances Carlos, and EJ, and Seb, and everyone around kept giving her. It wasn't just about her sudden change of attitude, from playing board games and sending best wishes, to this. 

It's like they knew  **why**.

She had told Ashlyn it was fine she did the party and that she was okay, because she didn't wanted to let her know her decision wasn't set on stone yet and let her ask more questions, but she knew EJ had his suspicions already, specially after  _that_ phone call.

So she had ended sneaking out her own get-together, to not have to anymore face any of that or the stupid welcoming whatever.

But she sorta got was Ashlyn was trying to do. She had to have noticed her on the show closing party. Maybe not obviously avoiding that specific part of the room after what she saw, even before everyone found out, but yes just generally acting weird. Ashlyn wasn't stupid. Or subtle either. She _would_ throw a party to make her feel cared for, no matter what was making her doubt. But it wasn't the same. All those people that were there to 'welcome' her home? They didn't even know her. Not any of them cared for her either, despite whatever they wanted to make her think. Gina knew they would turn on her if she gave them the slightest chance to do so... Yet that wasn't the most upsetting part. 

The most upsetting part, was that everyone was there, except a few people, who were missing while the celebration was almost over, but there was still the slight chance the next knock on the door, could be the worst one. Because Gina wasn't ready to face him.  Not now, maybe never. 

She once thought... It doesn't matter what she thought. It was a fantasy, but that didn't mean it was hurting her any less.

So by the time Big Red showed up. Gina decided to just to say, damn it, and walk the hell out as everyone was distracted getting more drinks, even if it was raining. What else could she do? Sit back and wait? She could make time till the event was over and come back then when it was safe to do so.

Of course, she didn't expect to run into Ricky's car turning to her direction in the next street, window half-lowered, his face recognizing her. Gina tried to turn, go the opposite way, but it was too late.

“Gina?” Ricky said, clear confusion in his tone, stopping the car next to her, rolling down what was left of the window.

And somehow she had walked on to the same situation she was trying to avoid.  _Fuck._ Maybe if she just keep walking, faster?

“Wait!” Ricky opened the door quickly, launched to follow a few steps back her, “Can we talk? Are...” then he took a pause, looking at her dress, then at the raining sky, like confirming both situations were coexisting, “Are you not cold?”

Gina wasn't even listening. She wasn't expecting for it to be that harsh, seeing him again. It was almost like nothing changed. _Almost_.

“I don't really have time to talk right now, go away, Ricky,” Gina said, avoiding his eyes, and trying to keep walking past him, just to be cut short by his hands on her waist catching her right up.

“Yeah, don't you have a party to be on? Do they even know you are gone?” Ricky said, still trying to understand what was she was doing walking in the opposite direction.

Looking down, she muttered, before even thinking it through.

“Does it even matter?” 

Ricky shook his head, disoriented, “Fine, I don't know what is going on right now, but are you gonna walk alone in the rain then? And you expect me to leave you like _this_?”

“Well, I can't exactly fly,  _can I_?” she rebutted, shifting to a sarcastic, defensive tone, regretting her moment of weakness.

Ricky looked back for a second, like if checking his car was still there or something, then replied, a little nervous, “Could you please get into the car? I don't know what is wrong, but I'm getting cold just looking at you and I don't wanna fight. Let me drive you, okay?”

Gina knew he wouldn't take a no, and she didn't felt like fighting... And a side of her was not against feeling again like a priority for him. So she gave up, and got to the backseat, thinking maybe he did still care about her. Maybe she misunderstood. 

That of course was until the, “Hey Gina? We were actually heading to your party right now. Ricky couldn't find your house,” that came from the shotgun seat as soon as she and Ricky went inside the car.

“Hi Nini. Cool,” was all she said back, as she shifted uncomfortably in her place.

Gina wasn't sure if Ricky had even mentioned to her he  _did_ know his house. Or that the party's was at Ashlyn's house...? 

Did he _not_ know? Had Ashlyn knew more than what she thought and hadn't invited him on purpose? The night kept turning more and more embarrassing.

“Oh, Nini,” he now turned to her like he just realized something, “Gina just told me we were wrong. Uh, I thought it was at her house but it was at Ashlyn's, maybe someone was trying to play a joke on us or I misread something? Whatever, it doesn't matter. But we should get going.”

It was obvious there was something more to it than that and Ricky hadn't got better in his lying abilities since they last spoken, but if Nini noticed, she didn't say anything about it, just nodded.

Ricky turned the car back on, and all three of them remained in an awkward silence as he drove the blocks to Ashlyn's place and Gina ignored Nini's attempts to ask her anything with only one word answers, till she gave up. Gina felt sorry for not being in the mood, because they had grew a bit closer before, but if she was gonna leave anyways, maybe it was better like this.

As Ricky stopped at Ashlyn's door, he handed an umbrella to Nini for her to be able to get off, then called her back again, scratching his neck.

“Just noticed I forgot my phone,“ he said to her, “I think I'm gonna head back to get it, you know, in case my dad needs something while we are here.”

“Oh, want me to go back with you?” she offered, already walking back to the door.

“No, just... Get inside, tell Big Red I am also gonna get him that videogame I was gonna lend to him, by the way! I'll be quick.”

“Perfect, I'll let him know.”

Gina couldn't exactly read the expression on her face, but she could swear she was not pleased. 

And as Nini went in running, not even waiting for her to get out, she reached for the handle as well, but Ricky stopped her hand.

“Actually, I am glad I ran into you, Gina. I thought we might need to talk and after all this, I  definitely do. Let's go for a ride, okay?” Ricky said, as he turned on the vehicule.

In a moment, Gina could see it all. The rejection coming, him almost mocking her, for whatever she thought could be. Like she didn't knew already how wrong she had been in thinking that. Whatever problems they might had or still have or not, he had chosen Nini anyways. She braced hersef for the impact, considered jumping out of the car, even, to spare herself the pain about to come again.

But instead he said, “Are you okay?“

What did that mean? Did he knew she already knew? Was he worried about how the news had hit her? Had she seen her, seeing his little speech to Nini? But he hadn't, no. Was it because Nini was in the car? She could have thought they were just friends after the musical. Being in the same car didn't mean she would know they were dating again. That he discarted her. So, she couldn't help but ask, ”Why would you ask me that?” 

“You've been acting... Weird.”

“Weird.  Okay.” Like that clarified anything. So had he realized what everyone else, that she knew somehow, and he just didn't wanted to hurt her more by explicitly saying it outloud? She didn't wanted his pity.

“See? Like right now. You're like  _distant_. You left your own party. What is going on? Is it something with your mom?”

Okay, maybe he did not know? _Let's keep it that way_ , she thought. No need to embarrass herself and go through the heartbreak twice just by being obvious about it.

“No, it's not her. I'm just tired, Ricky. It's been a long few days,” she had to give him something for him to stop digging, and it was partly true. 

“You could tell me about it if you like.”

Tell him what? _I know you love Nini and I was just someone to pass time with till you got the courage to admit it_? She passed.

“I'm fine,” she said instead.

But Ricky saw right through it. 

“Gina, I thought we could trust each other,” he said, almost disappointed on her. And it _stung_.

“Maybe we misjudged each other.”

“Did  _I_ do something?” he asked.

 _It's what you didn't do_ , she wanted to say, _it's what you didn't do,_ _ asshole_ . But the anger feel unjustified. Could she even blame him for feeling whatever he feel?

“No, Ricky... Forget about it.“ 

_Like you forgot about everything else_ , she resisted to add. She had to bury that feeling or it would never end well. She didn't want to make even more of a fool of herself.

Ricky refused to take that and let it go again, and insisted, “No, I just wanna know why have you been avoiding all of us. You didn't even tell me you were staying! I... I wasn't even sure you wanted me here today. I don't understand. Why did you pull away? I thought we made it pretty clear we grew fond of you.”

Did he not even _suspect_ it had  anything to do with him and Nini? Did the thought of her being hurt didn't even cross his mind? Did he thought she didn't feel anything the whole, was that was this was about? Had  _him_ not felt anything the whole time? She could swore he did. No,  _he did_ . So why this now? Why dig the knife deeper? Did he wanted to hear from her about how he changed his mind, left her hanging, not even five minutes after she left? 

“Those feelings never stay, Ricky,” she said, like making a sharp point, a reminder, that he didn't quite caugh on by the disoriented look on his face, still unsure where this was all coming from, “And neither do I. So I... I don't know. It's stupid to think anything can be like you want it to be. My mom may change her mind any time, and I think it's better for me to take a step back. You can get hurt if you believe you can have something. I just got confused.”

“What happened, Gina?” It's all he can say, eyes still trying to keep focused the road, but attempting to catch a glimse of her through the mirror.

And Gina could no longer recognize the streets and with every seemingly sincere word of care that seemed to leave his mouth, she had to struggle more to hold herself together. _What game was he playing?_

“We should head back to Ashlyn's. They must be worried about you.” she shifted again in her place.

“And about you,” she added.

“Yeah,  _right_.” She wished she could still believe that. But how could them? How could them when the one who cared the most treated her as disposable?

“This is... Not the Gina I knew.”

Now he felt like complaining? It didn't right with her. Not after the realization maybe he _was_ to blame. Because it wasn't his decision to like Nini, but it was his decision to play her along while knowing that, if he never felt the same way for her and then acting like her possibly being upset about it wasn't something he even considered.

So that bitter feeling again took some control of her words, as she replied, “We all have surprises, don't we? Maybe you didn't knew me that well. Like, we hanged out for what, a week? We don't owe anything to each other, right?” 

She couldn't help it. In a way she wanted to hurt him because that would mean he cared. He knew that wasn't him. She wanted to believe that couldn't be him. He had seen it in his eyes, hasn't she? Or had it been all in her head? Was that what was going on?

“You're  _hurt_. Why? What happened since the show ended... I don't understand. _No_ , I even saw you talk to EJ and Carlos after the show and Ashlyn didn't notice you being weird until I bought it up but... You didn't even say goodbye— Have you... have you been avoiding  _me_?” he finally asked, as he stopped the car, and looked back at her, like he was afraid to know the answer. And he was.

That's why he was walking in circles in direction to nowhere, lying to Nini about the address. The Gina he used to know would have called him, would have invited him, told him the news and there was so much he wanted to tell her too. That was why somehow now, driving randomly, he had driven them back to the skatepark where they first connected with eachother. But it was just radio silence, since the moment the musical ended and since the moment she stepped in the car avoiding to be honest with him. So what had changed? Had  he done to make her go back to her shell? Ricky was clueless, and when Gina noticed that it was autentical, that made it fall the last domino piece in her brain.

She bited her inner cheek, then let it out, as she moved her view to the window, unable to face him. “So for a smart guy, you are pretty oblivious, Ricky. Because it really was all in my head, wasn't it?”

“What are you talking about?”

Then with that, it felt like the final confirmation came to her.

“Exactly,” she said, then aimed for the door and got off again. Of course they were in the freaking skatepark. Like this trip hadn't been a downwards spiral into memory lane already. 

Gina tried hard to keep the tears from falling out, but the turmoil of emotions this night had brought back, wasn't letting it be easy. How had they come this far from kisses in checks and promises of...  _something_?

“What are you doing?” Ricky exclamed, going after again, trying to cover himself from the pouring rain with his hands and almost slipping.

“What are  _you_ doing? Are you not gonna let me alone?” Gina shouted back, still going ahead, nowhere else to go but the skatepark, as he continued to follow behind.

“Gina, is this because of _EJ_?”

_What?_ Gina stopped dead in her tracks, at the question.

“What does  _EJ Caswell_ have to do with anything?” she looked back at him like he just proposed the stupidest idea in the world, because, if he was implying what she thought, that's exactly what he did.

“Oh, see? I _knew_. Now I am sure. You think I didn't see you two? You are close, and he invited you to prom and because you like him and he hates me you are ignoring me and I think that's really stupid—”

“You think I like  _him_ _?_ ” Gina was a bit mortified and disgusted at his assumption, going back just to punch him in his arm.

“Then what is it? Because I give up!” he exclamed, putting his arms up in the air then letting them fall, “Because I am going insane over here trying to figure your deal these days.”

“I just don't wanna see you anymore, is that so hard to believe? That the world doesn't revolve around you? I just don't wanna hang out with you anymore,” she said, then inmediately turned to keep walking, trying to avoid him for looking at her puffy eyes.  _And how the hell was she gonna get back to Ashlyn's from there?_

“I don't buy that. You're being mean, like you are when you get scared. But okay, I'll play along if that's how you want it to be. Why do you not want to hang with me anymore, then?” he continued.

“Because I don't! Because I hate you,” she yelled without turning, as he started running behind to catch up with her.

“No, you don't!” he denied it like it's the more blatant lie he ever heard and it angered Gina how could he act so sure if he was just suggesting something like her being into _EJ_.

“And what the hell do you know? What the hell do you know about how I feel... I—” she turned again to face him, clothes already dripping wet and hoping then the crying won't be as noticeable.

He tried again, clearly noticing something was off,“Gina, it's okay.” 

So Gina turned, and in lack of anything else she could do, she took that stupid ring he had gifted her and threw it as his feet. She was done with Ricky Bowen. She was done of him playing nice and chewing his heart out at the same time. And she was done of not being able of being done with Ricky Bowen. And then just dropped to the stupid stairs at her left, because she was tired of running and the chase and the cold, and blurted it all out, looking up at him.

“No, it's _not_. It's not okay. Because you are right, I could never hate you. And I made myself believe... Something really dumb. And Nini is a great girl and I'm glad you two fixed your thing but how do you think _I_ feel?” 

“What does that have to do with  anything? What did you think it felt when you just left, with no goodbyes? Did you wanted for me to wait for an hypothetical case you came back to put my life together—” 

Was he really that oblivious? Was it really at that in her head? Did she made it up? She could swore... But she wasn't sure of anything right now and that's the effect he used to have on her and she can't keep it down her throat anymore and burning inside her as he just said bullshit over bullshit.

So she interrumpted him, shouting in response in exasperation, “ _No_! I wanted _you_ , Ricky!“

Then whispered it back, as the realization of what she just confesed rushed over her, all already out in the open, looking down to the concrete, “I wanted  _you.”_

“ _Oh,_ ” it was all he said, calming down as well, and dropping to sit next to her, both acting as the rain wasn't even there, “Why... Why didn't you say anything before?”

_ So he did not know. So it wasn't intentional. So he didn't ever felt it too. _

“Would had it changed anything?”

She asked anyways, again looking for confirmation, maybe hoping to hear anything that gave her at least the tiniest hope to believe it would have, against all odds, staring at him again. As the silence went on, she broke the eye contact again, and said, “That's what I thought.”

“It's only that...” 

She finished it for him, saving him the need to justify himself. “I get it. I was a distraction.”

“No. It is only... Different. Me and Nini go way back and—”

“And you love her.”  There went that _sting_ again.

“And,” he finished his actual sentence, “I don't think I ever felt what I felt when you left me at Thankgivings when I lost her. Whatever that means,” he taked a pause, like himself trying to process his words, as Gina still did not dare to look up, “Maybe if things had been different....”

“But they weren't,“ and that's the reality she has to live with. She looked up, promising herself it was the last time, “And somehow I'm back and I have a chance to stay now, but I'm not sure I have a motive anymore.”

“Don't let me ruin this for you. You fit perfectly in here and... You could finally have _all_ you ever wanted. Don't go, Gina. Don't let me be the cause you throw it away.”

_All but one thing._ She shook her head.

“Maybe Nini was right. Being in the same place can make you feel stuck and maybe... Maybe I should have left and never come back.” 

_ Then at least she would had have a pretty memory, of something she thought she might never find, instead of that picture falling apart. _

“Gina...” 

He stretched his hand to clean the tears in her check, but Gina brushed it off as soon as he touched her skin.

“Listen,” She had cut him off, “I'm glad you're happy, Ricky. But why are you still even here, doing all this? Don't you realize this hurts me as much, if not more than you moving on? It's like you give me hope and take it away again. Why would you say that? And— And if you weren't into me, at least in this universe we live in, maybe you could have straight up said _'I'm not into you like that, Gina'_ or _'Don't get your hopes up, Gi—_ ” 

Just to be cut off herself, by Ricky's lips meeting hers. _He was kissing her._ Like,  _really_ kissing her. For a second, she allows that fantasy to exist. Until scenes of his scene with Nini back at school flashed in her mind.

So Gina pulled away, before she can bring herself to let it fully enjoy it, “No, what? What does that mean, Ricky?”

“I... I don't know.”

He wanted to say, _I don't know but I missed you and all I wanted was to talk to you and I wanted for you to invite me to your party or to show up and talk and that all was like it was and how we were before you left and I got scared, and maybe it's not late for things to be different, because Nini may be nice and sweet and know me, but never like this. And what if I made the wrong choice and now because of that I will lose the two people I most care about? And people must be waiting, worrying for us and I don't know how I am going to look at Nini after this but I didn't know how I would look at myself if I didn't. Because if I went after you, if I needed to know, if I kissed you, it has to mean_ _ something. But things are complicated and I just don't want to lose you, Gina, and I feel like it's breaking up with Nini all over again but this time it feels different. Maybe I was just sorry I hurted her and I felt I need fo make it up to her. And I feel the same way now. But it's more than that. It's more than that now. And I have no idea what it means.I just had to do it._

But all he could said was, I don't know. He cursed himself for that, but the true is that he was knew to this kinda thing, expressing himself like that. His parents weren't exactly the best example, were they?

He felt like shit as Gina replied, “This is what I was saying. I'm not a toy, Ricky. And I don't want to be your second choice you come to whenever you and Nini have problems so, figure it out.”

And as she gets up to leave, to knock in whatever door she finds to get directions to get to Ashlyn's, Ricky reaches for her arm.

“Would you give me the time at least? Don't leave... I can't promise you anything but... Please, don't leave. Let me, let us figure it out. You belong here anyways. I'll try to break it off with Nini, it's not fair I am with her if I am not sure, I just have to find the moment to tell her, and I'll try to figure it all out. But I can only do that if you stay.”

And Gina heart's kept winning over his mind, so for that reason she decided to say,  “I'll think about it.”

That's how new promises were born.

“Start thinking about it on the ride home? What do you say?” Ricky offered, starting to walk towards his car.

And when Gina started to go after him, she knew she was probably bound to regret it someday. But it was a new year, maybe things this time could be different. She just had to remember Ricky how they felt. 

As she tried to not get herself broken in the progress.


End file.
